Thursday, May 9, 2013

What I'm Dealing With

"Do you actually have cancer?" 

Those 5 words shook me to the core. It wasn't that I was asked the question. Clearly, people get interested.

It was just that I was in the situation that led someone to ask me that question.

No, I don't have cancer...praise the Lord.

A couple weeks ago, I went in for what has started to be a routine check up for my skin.

I hate to say it, but it has been over a year since I have been checked.

Two that I was most concerned about came back nothing...and the one that the doctor said would more than likely me fine, came back abnormal. Just goes to show that even doctors get surprises.

"We can go about this one of two ways. We can cut the outer edge of the spot and go deep...or we can go upwards and downwards and see what is in that tissue. But I don't want to do that, because that would be a pretty good size chunk out of your leg."

I sat there and started to cry. I'm such a wimp these days. I cry over everything.

I cried not because of a stupid scar.

I cried because I brought this on to myself.

After both of my mom's have said, "stay out of the sun, look what we have had to go through"...and even losing one, I still signed up for unlimited tanning at the tanning bed. I still laid out in the sun every chance I could in the Summer.

I'm now home, and have at least a week before I find out the results, and depending on what the results are, is whether or not they will have to go upwards and downwards on my leg.

This Summer, rethink about those sunny days. Even if you have "the type of skin that can take it"...I am beginning to think that's a load because anyone and everyone can get skin cancer, layer on the sunscreen. The burns, the blistering...every bit of what the sun does to your skin, is not worth the end result of having that golden tan.

Just look at what I'm dealing with.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Sunny California

A few weekends ago, my sister and I made our way to Sunny California for a quick, much needed visit with our brother and his sweet family.

Although it was short, it was beyond enjoyable.

The weather was beautiful. Sunny skies, and breezy afternoons had me in tank tops and shorts...running around barefoot only in their back yard.

And of course I made time to go run the streets of Van Nuys.

Well, only their street so I didn't get too lost.

They recently just had their sweet baby girl, Lydia... so of course our days were filled with snuggles and baby love.

 I seriously could not get enough of her. 

And those diapers? I cannot deal.

And to make this an ending to a blog post, this is the most handsome picture of my brother.

When did he become so amazingly cool?

Missing them so much. 

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

We're Human

This week so far, let's just say I have struggled.

Struggled with food, with exercise...with those frustrating negative thoughts.

It can be so draining...but tonight I made it happen again.

I decided to skip my hip-hop class I attend on Wednesday nights at the Y, because I would have been so late, and I hate showing up late to things.

So instead I went to the park in town, and ran. The weather was amazing, and the breeze wasn't too rough.

Perfect for building up a sweat.

My pace is getting better which I'm happy with.

I'm hoping to break a three miler in a few weeks.

I have come to terms with the fact that I am allowing myself to get back to running.

Last year I mentioned in a post that I felt like I wasn't a runner. It was so hard, and with the one race that I did wasn't enjoyable for me.

Now, with forty pounds off...well, it's a lot easier, and I feel like I could go, and go, and go.

Tonight the only thing bothering me was my bladder. I had to pee like no body's business.

::I did think about letting it all go until I realized that I wasn't in a race, and wasn't in a predicament where I could not I held it until I finished.::

I sent a text to my hubs telling him that I felt really good about tonight's run and that I was officially out of my slump. I'm feeling inspired, motivated and ready to work out again (not that I ever stopped).

I think it's good to go through times of feeling blah. I know that reading a sweet text from a friend sure made me smile.

     "we all go through slumps...we're human."