Wednesday, August 29, 2012

A Not So Easy Post...

August 4th I found out I was pregnant.

A very faint pink line, and the only one I took a picture of.

Clear Blue, First Response and EPT became my companion for the next several
days as I woke up early, and tested my first morning pee.

I got three positives which would make one believe, 
"yes, this is indeed for real"...

but the positives grew lesser and lesser, and I knew that 
this pregnancy was not progressing.

I was at work when everything happened.
Not knowing exactly what to do, I did the best I could 
and made it through the day till I got home.

There's not a day so far that goes by that I don't think about what if I
did this, or what if I did that? Or today I would be this far along.
(according to theBump since I subscribed to their baby feed)
which I now have unsubscribed to .
And I know that that is the quickest way
to make yourself go insane.

The last time I cried about it was on Saturday, when I talked to 
one of my best friends about it. The best way to describe it, is feeling like I had
a huge joke played on me. It started with happiness ending in sadness and tears.

Talking to my mom made it easier.
"We don't see it now, but everything happens in His perfect time."
 is what she says. And that's so true. And for awhile there,  even though I knew that,
 telling my mind and heart to know it seemed impossible.

Everything happens for reason, and I know what's meant to be..
will be.

Please, in my own way of asking this, please do not ask questions.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Sunday's Ramblings

:: Can I get a capital D for not having a hammock when I need one?! The weather this weekend has been absolutely glorious! Yesterday, I was so worn out...I contemplated on setting up a little pallet outside on the deck just to be able to say I took advantage of this amazing temperature!

:: Big Brother is on tonight! What's everyone think about Janelle leaving??

:: Speaking of Big Brother...I so want Ian and Ashley to get together! They would be so adorable together! But then again, do Sho-mances ever really last? And I so did not realize Ian was only 21!

:: The pups have discovered a new liking. Dill Pickle chips (on accident) and Edamame beans.

And excuse the way I had to post this. I couldn't figure out how to save an Instagram photo to my comp.

:: Last weekend we celebrated my Nana's birthday. She has been such an impact in my life and our family all together. 

:: Running. (sigh)

:: I promise I don't have my iPhone because of photography apps. 


 Hope everyone has a wonderful evening!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

I Am:

I am a heterosexual, over weight female who loves her carbs.

I am a young woman who hates to voice up and apologize when the hubs and I get in to a tizzy.

I am a young woman who finds Channing Tatum one of the most attractive male species on the planet.

I am a person who loves her Coach and Dooney purses, and will buy two of the same shoes if I want.

I am a person who will spend half the day in bed if I want or can.

I am a person who will get so angry, it's like I go from zero to ten in minutes..only if I let it.

And lastly, I am a young woman who fights off that little green monster every time some one announces they are pregnant.

If you know them, I have admittedly confessed that I commit the seven deadly sins all the time.
Gluttony. Pride. Lust. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. and Envy.

What is the difference between what I do every single day and the couple up the road who in fact are two women and sleep together?

I have family members who are homosexual. They are happy, and in love...and although I may not desire the same for myself, at the end of the day I love them for who they are and not who they sleep with.

And if I'm called out and told I'm wrong, then it's what I'm willing to take.

(Oh and before I forget. I did in fact go to Chick yesterday...
sadly every other day too.)

First Race Review

I finally ran my first race last Saturday. It was a local race called the Goodlettsville Classic 4 mile.

For it to be my first race, I liked knowing that the course was pretty flat and very well shaded...just like the race information said.

A lot of people have said after the first race they do, "you get bit by the race bug".

I can honestly say I did not get bit. In fact, I can say I am dreading the big one in September, and will be so glad when it's over. Sorry to be Mrs. Debbie Downer, but it's true. I'm beginning to wonder if running is my thing or not.

Like with anything new, you live and you learn. Having dealt with tummy troubles on my own while running, I went light on what I ate the night before and the morning of. 6:30's dinner consisted of some hearty carbs (wheat pasta mixed with olive oil and seasoning), and a banana for breakfast that day.

By the end of the race, I felt as if I was going to face plant myself at any moment. The heat zapped what I had of me by mile 2.

I guess all I can say is that I know what I will do different come September, and that's what counts.

It's funny to me if I'm talking like this with a 4 miler, how I'm gonna be with a half marathon which is exactly 50 days away.

{face in palm.}