Thursday, September 16, 2010

My Mind Freaked Out.

Not saying I'm a pro or anything, but I would like to think I know some of the basic facts of what is involved in making a baby.

I got a little concerned last night...in my own mind, of course.

The past couple of weeks I have dealt with this on and off feeling of nausea, so much that the Tuesday after Labor Day, I stayed home due to feeling like poo.

Yesterday I was all fine up until I finally laid down around 8 last night with the hubs on the couch to watch our latest Netflix movie of "The Crazies"...which is nauseating just in itself.

I had never had such strong nausea in all my life (okay, I'm being dramatic a tad, but I was feeling pretty rough) than right then on that couch. It was almost immediate that I had to run straight to our bathroom and puke pretty much everything I had in me...I thought.

Waiting about 10 minutes, and the nausea keeping up...I dealt with it, and took Kaci potty while the hubs had Buck on his leash.

It's pretty funny looking back at the scenario, that even me being the sick one, laughs. I was on my knees in the front yard puking what felt like my guts up. It was horrible.

All I remember is trying to keep Kaci away from me without letting go of her leash...while trying to signal to the hubs that we were in fact in the front yard.

Luckily, all of these thoughts caused me to question myself, and rush out to Kroger on my lunch today to get a pregnancy test. 

Funny thing is, is as much as I talk about having baby fever, and thinking how wonderful it would be to have a Baby Thomas in our home...last night I was freaked out at the thought of having possible symptoms, but all the while relieved and thanking the good Lord that the test read Not Pregnant  on it's little screen.

Everyone has said that "you are never truly ready to have a baby"....so as far as using the excuse financially ready...that's shot out of the window, because truth be told, no one is ever ready financially to bring a baby in to their world.

Maybe it's a sign that I, personally, not even mentioning the hubs, isn't emotionally ready for a baby. Or is that normal to have those thoughts?

I have a friend who has the book, "What to Expect Before Having a Baby"...and I glimpsed through the pages at the topics and discussions it has throughout it. I honestly have contemplated on buying it. I obviously have never been pregnant before, and I have never experienced anything that goes along with it. Whether half of it is useful, or half of it is bologna (I have heard reading books about Before Expecting and During Pregnancy...and even after a baby is born, it's all different for each woman)...it has honestly, made me question and think of things I never even thought about when bringing a baby in to this world. I honestly don't think it would hurt reading it.

Whether it's 6 months or 5 years (hopefully not)...I hope and pray that when and if I have sickness throughout my pregnancy...it's nothing like last night. Ugh.

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