Saturday, June 19, 2010

A Cloud of Funk

While floating in the pool this afternoon, I finally came to the conclusion of why I have felt like I had been in a "funk" for quite some time.

Not that every day I was fighting depression, or not wanting to get out of bed to conquer the world...it wasn't like that at all.

It felt like even on good days however, there still seemed to be a "cloud of funk" that covered my head.

For quite some time now, the hubs and I have not been actively attending church. This was something I thought I would never be able to say. Church was always part of my childhood, growing up in to my teen years, and so forth...until I got married and out on my own.

By saying that, I don't want anyone to think that it was because of the man I married corrupted my ways...or anything like that.

It's just that now I don't have a parent waking me up saying "while living in this house, you will attend church.

It's crazy how when you form a relationship with Christ, it's like forming a relationship with a friend. In order to maintain that friendship, you talk everyday, you spend time with that person...you create memories. When you don't, that relationship falls in the cracks.

I truly believe that is how it is with God. Coming from experience, I see where I have been moodier, I have been so negative about life and everything in life, that even my husband is noticing more and more how much I complain. It's definitely something I want to change, and need to change.

The "B" word was brought up a couple weeks ago. The "B" word as in Babies. This is something that won't be happening very soon, but is eventually going to happen.

I am praying that our kids will be able to grow up attending church, and knowing the importance of being a part of a church home and having a relationship with God.

I am hoping to get that level of friendship back that I had with God. Quiet times, and prayer will be back in my life, and will hopefully lead to finding a permanent Church home.

Tomorrow I will be attending church with two of my close friends, Jimmy and Michelle. I am praying that after time, me waking up early will lead to my husband waking up as well and joining me.

It's crazy how something that used to be so normal in one's life can become so different in so many ways.

1 comment:

Heather said...

I appreciate how honest you are on this blog. I have had all these same feelings. And sometimes for me it's hard to talk to someone that is not visible. :p
When you hold your baby in your arms you will experience the most amazing greatful heart toward GOD that you can imagine!